Puns! Humorous word play that makes you roll your eyes, sigh, and think that’s so bad it’s good.
To promote our copywriting services, we launched the #MondayPunday social media series. We collected the funniest puns and created custom single-line graphics for each one. Here are 35 puns that will make your day!
Objects of humour
1. I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man, was she stunning!
2. I meant to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
3. Did you hear about that great new shovel? It’s ground breaking.
4. This whiteboard is remarkable.
5. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
6. Two antennas got married last Saturday. The reception was fantastic.
7. Writing with a dull pencil is pointless.
8. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
Pun & games
9. The golfer brought an extra pair of pants in case he got a hole in one.
10. Why does Peter Pan fly all the time? He Neverlands.
11. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
12. How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler.
13. I did a performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
14. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
15. What would you call a fish with a missing eye? A fsh, probably.
16. My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.
17. What do you call a piece of toast at the zoo? Bread in captivity.
Face your fears
18. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
19. My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
20. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
Shopping for puns
21. I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see one.
22. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
23. Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
24. Once you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
Science & medicine puns
25. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
26. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
27. His theory on inertia never seemed to gain momentum.
28. Jill broke her finger today. On the other hand she was completely fine.
29. To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
30. When you dream in color, is it a pigment of your imagination?
31. I’d ask my teddy bear if he’s hungry, but he’s stuffed.
32. The grape didn’t say much when he got stepped on. He just let out a little wine.
33. You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big missed steak.
34. I took a picture of a field of wheat. It was grainy.
35. Yesterday I swallowed some food coloring. I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.