Puns! Humorous word play that makes you roll your eyes, sigh, and think that’s so bad it’s good.
To promote our copywriting services, we launched the #MondayPunday social media series. We collected the funniest puns and created custom single-line graphics for each one. Here are 35 puns that will make your day!
Objects of humour
1. I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man, was she stunning!
2. I meant to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
3. Did you hear about that great new shovel? It’s ground breaking.
4. This whiteboard is remarkable.
5. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
6. Two antennas got married last Saturday. The reception was fantastic.
7. Writing with a dull pencil is pointless.
8. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
Pun & games
9. The golfer brought an extra pair of pants in case he got a hole in one.
10. Why does Peter Pan fly all the time? He Neverlands.
11. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
12. How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler.
13. I did a performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
Animal puns
14. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
15. What would you call a fish with a missing eye? A fsh, probably.
16. My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.
17. What do you call a piece of toast at the zoo? Bread in captivity.
Face your fears
18. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
19. My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
20. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
Shopping for puns
21. I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see one.
22. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
23. Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
24. Once you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
Science & medicine puns
25. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
26. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
27. His theory on inertia never seemed to gain momentum.
28. Jill broke her finger today. On the other hand she was completely fine.
29. To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
30. When you dream in color, is it a pigment of your imagination?
Punny food
31. I’d ask my teddy bear if he’s hungry, but he’s stuffed.
32. The grape didn’t say much when he got stepped on. He just let out a little wine.
33. You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big missed steak.
34. I took a picture of a field of wheat. It was grainy.
35. Yesterday I swallowed some food coloring. I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
Follow Kettle Fire Creative on Facebook or Twitter to see all of the shareable custom graphics and for weekly #MondayPunday humor.
What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI!
lol lol lol
lol
lol
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? THUNDERWEAR!
Why do they call it the funny bone? Because it’s humerus
What do to get when you cross an elephant and a rhino???
El-if-i-no!?
I wanted to marry this carbon 14 expert, but all she wanted to do was date.
Where does dogs go when they lost they’re tails…
The Re-tail store! ;D
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b
I went to a french cheese factory the other day. It exploded. All that was left was DE BRIE
boo
What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crookidile
I hope to see you again so we can ketchup!
Yeah! It was nice to meat you.
Hairy Potty
Harry Punner
Hermione Stranger
Ron Weasel
Weasel who “rons”
joke teller: why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the new york times get it?
listener: no
joke teller: me neither I get USA TODAY
What’s the opposite of a firefly? A waterfall
Hello there! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog.
Is it tough to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I
can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure
where to start. Do you have any ideas or suggestions?
Many thanks
From a technical side, one of the first things to do is choose a platform. Our blog is built on WordPress. Wix and Weebly both offer free blog websites, so you might consider that. Then you can start brainstorming ideas for articles. Check out our post on how to come up with blog ideas for inspiration.
I caught my son chewing on an electric cord. I had to ground him. He is doing well currently and conducting himself properly now.
We laughed out loud at this one.
I love this one
GUY1= YOUR BORING
GUY2= AND DO YOU THINK YOU ANY EXCITER
You wanna hear a skeleton joke? Nevermind, I dont have the GUTS to tell one
“how did u come to Israel?”
“I ran”
Why couldn’t the skunk go to the movies? Because it didn’t have a cent!
What do you all a funny joke containing a pun? A punny joke!
my dad farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels
I nearly cried laughing at this!
hilarious!
the skeleton wanted tibia comedian but nobody thought his puns were humerus
¿Que hace un pato en el agua? ¡Nada!
Did you hear of the chef that died he pasta-way’d
At first I didn’t understand most of these, but now eye see.
what do you call a knight thats afraid to fight? sir render.
….. its a high requirement 😉
you cant escape people who tell puns, you know why….
sorry the formatting is terrible
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I would make a pun about spiders, but I couldn’t find any on the web!
I would make a pun about chemistry, but I’m afraid I’d get no reaction from u
hey wanna hear a pizza joke nah it’s to cheesy
you guys & gals are killing me! I use some of these at work to uplift people (staff , patients, visitors) when leaving our Office. I write them on a whiteboard just next to our exit. They love them. each week I put up a different one …it helps esp. bcuz of C-19 pandemic making everyone miserable. A HUGE thankyou everyone @ Kettle Fire Creations
**I always put down where I borrowed the material:)
Michele, That makes my heart so happy! I’m glad we’ve helped you find a way to encourage your co-workers!
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a FANTA SEA!
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over
Funny!
thats so funny
OMG LMAOOOOOOOO I’M DYING!
I’m dying… you know why… because I drank food coloring!!! Wooooooow tha’s not even funny… ;D
Why didnt the murderer get arrested for stabbing someone?? it was a LETHAL blow XD
Who wants to be my FINtastic friend? just please dont leave my puns on the LINE i mean you should TUNA in on this! i should proabably stop trying to KRAKEN you up?? XD
You guys thanks so much for encouraging me and making more puns to fuel me and make my day, me and my girl appreciate all of you for the kind and caring individuals you really are and keep being great everyone 😀
sans: *PUNPUNPUNPUNPUNPUN*
you guys: *PUNPUNPUNPUNPUNPUNPUNPUNPUN*
sans: they said it could not be done!…
The funny thing is that actually happened to me and everyone in the building smelled it as it PASSED through the cracks XD
i might not know a lot of puns. i’m starting to get the fact they’re punny.
A day without a pun is like a day without the sun! Love them, and keep ’em coming.
I once heard a pun about a whiteboard. It was remarkable.
How do you tell if a vampire has corona virus? Because he would probably be coffin.
What potato is never eaten, but it is not alive? A couch potato! I made this joke on my own, so pls like! Couch potatoes aren’t alive because they basically never do anything!
What do you get if Darth Vader and an elephant had a fight? an elevator, for you to get to your hotel room. Very convenient!
What do you get if Tyler Tony from dude perfect in a Rage Monster encounters a cat? It would be an absolute cat-astrophe! Thankfully cats have 9 lives, an Tyler has never encountered a cat. (LOLLLLLLLL)
Good one! You’ve sparked my imagination!
very punny!
why did the chicken go to kfc?
-He wanted to see a chicken strip.
A guy pops a balloon with a needle and another guy says what was the POINT of that I’m going to PIN the blame on you! that wasn’t the SHARPEST idea!
I invented a new word! Plagiarism!
I also made this up myself, when I was 4!
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He stops at nothing to avoid them!
who want to hear my joke about straws. what never mined it sucks.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over
Why are math teachers with graph papers always dangerous? She must be PLOTTING something.
Q: What did baby corn say to mommy corn?
A: Where is pop corn?
why did the chicken cross the road roil and then cross the road again?
because he was a dirty double crosser! XD
bravo Charlie
Boo to Lexi
U r just as bad as her
be like a bird. Just wing it
I love this one.
I was doing a maze i got really lost in it.
Omg guys!! U litterally killed me off with ur so FUNNY puns!!
why did the monster stay under a boys bed? He just wanted to have a good slip!
what do you call cheese that’s not yours nach – yo – cheese ha ha ha so funny.
What did the tomato say in the race?
You have to ketchup.
It was a pleasure to meat you.
The officer liked my cousin, so i told him he could shoot his shot
My walk clock makes tiktok look easy
He sees a future in cleaning mirrors
Goddess Athena would make for a great receptionist
Why do people lie? so they can sleep.
He spoke with so much transparency, yet we couldn’t see eye to eye.
Sarah broke a leg yesterday at the auditions, but on the bright side, she passed.
He got burned twice, she’s way too hot for him to handle.
Could you please add new ones more often because they get old…
Some puns that might tickle your funny bone:
– Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
– I used to be a baker but I couldn’t make enough dough.
– Why don’t we write secrets in ink? Because it can easily be spilled.
– I tried to catch some fog yesterday but I mist.
– Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
– Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
I hope these puns add a bit of levity to your day! Remember, laughter is the best medicine!
A week after Mozart died, his ghost was discovered trying to erase his music. When asked why, it replied, “I’m decomposing.” LOL 😉
These puns are so funny! (Or should I say punny XD)
Here are some jokes for y’all.
– Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
– Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.
– One hundred hares have escaped the zoo, so police are combing the area.
– Everyone thinks my runny nose is funny, but it’s snot.
– Did you hear about the lumberjack who couldn’t hack it? They gave him the axe.
– Jungle animals are very fair. Cheetahs are always spotted.
– A short psychic broke out of jail. She was a small medium at large.
Hope these ones keep you guys going!!! 🙂